


Halbgott in Weiß

by Blaugrana



Category: Football RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 17:39:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4970197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blaugrana/pseuds/Blaugrana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You'd think being brilliant would solve most of your problems. Leo Messi gets accepted to one of the top hospitals in the country for his internship, but it doesn't make his life any easier. Quite the contrary actually. He supposes it's at least in part his fault and he would be right.</p><p>Medical AU: Everyone is a doctor. The only thing they're smart about is medicine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Screwed

**Author's Note:**

> I started Med School (or at least the german equivalent) a week ago and I've wanted to write something like this ever since. This is pretty much just going to be a Grey's Anatomy knock-off, so if you watched the show some (a lot) of the content of this fic will probably be familiar.  
> We got free t-shirts labeled "Halbgott in weiß" yesterday which is pretty much just a fancy way of saying doctor. So that's where the title is from.

Leo knows it’s going to be a bad day the minute he walks through the door. It isn’t like he hadn’t been expecting it to be, had gotten used to the idea a long time ago. Med school hadn't been easy and his internship wasn't going to be either. It wasn't supposed to be, especially in one of the best hospitals in the country. Most of the applicants had been turned down and the miniscule portion that were left, were the best of the best and failure of any kind would not be tolerated. It was a lot of pressure to live up to and the incessant competition between the new interns (of which Leo was now a part) certainly didn't help.

Honest to god he doesn’t even really mind. He hadn't come here to make friends and he had survived most of his life without any. And yet the day isn’t terrible because his fellow interns are assholes, which they are (probably, he hasn’t really talked to any of them, just changed quickly and followed the group taking a tour of the hospital). No his day is terrible because he is staring at one of the most handsome men he had ever seen in his life, which would be great if Leo hadn't slept with him the night before and then kicked him out the next morning with a smile and wave when the other had offered to make him breakfast.

If Leo strains his eyes he’s pretty sure he can even make out the "Dr. Cristiano Ronaldo M.D." on his name-tag. To be fair he hadn't known Cristiano "call me Cris" Ronaldo was a doctor, let alone one of his superiors during the brief and slightly slurred conversation they had had in the bar across the street the night before but Leo was pretty sure that wouldn't do him much good in this situation.

He vaguely wonders if he would have taken Ronaldo home if he hadn't been quite that intoxicated and then he remembers the other’s smile in the dim light of the bar and the firm weight of his palm against the small of Leo's back. He remembers the silky tone of his voice, the touch lips, soft yet still challenging. Yeah it probably wouldn't have made much of a difference but at least this way he can blame the liquor in order to ease his conscience.

To his utmost relief Cristiano is so wrapped up in his conversation with a fellow doctor that he hasn’t noticed him yet so Leo does the only sensible thing and ducks behind one of the other interns in attempt to hide. It's a miserable failure mostly because the other boy refuses to cooperate and turns to face him instead. Leo frowns as the other gives him a dazzling smile but takes his outstretched hand nevertheless. He wonders if the other boy hadn't gotten the memo that they were competing with one another and that being friendly wasn't a thing here.

"Hey, I'm Kun. Well technically Sergio but I prefer Kun."

"Leo" Leo mutters as he watches Kun shake his hand with enthusiasm, the grin never leaving his face. He tries not to, he really does but the others happiness is infectious and he feels a tentative smile spread across his face. Kun takes it as permission to wrap an arm around his shoulders and start babbling about how excited he was to be here and to Leo's utter surprise he quite enjoys listening to him.

It doesn’t last long though. More specifically it lasts until Leo sneaks a glance at Cris and catches his eyes fixed on him, dark and demanding. Much like they had been last night when he had pinned Leo up against his own apartment door and had sucked a bruise where his neck met his shoulder. He wonders if Cristiano can see it. He’s pulled out of his reverie when Kun tuggs him along so they don’t lose sight of their little tour group and he was almost glad to escape Cris' gaze.


	2. How do you like your eggs?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I want to thank you all for the really positive response to the first chapter. I wrote this chapter at 3 am and I'm only posting this already because you people are so sweet. Unfortunately I haven't had a chance to proofread it yet so I apologize for any mistakes I made.  
> I can't promise you people fast or regular updates once school starts but I'll do my best.  
> Enjoy!

When Cristiano wakes up the next morning to find the young man from the night before curled up against him like an adorable little kitten all he really wants to do is ignore the alarm, pull Leo closer and enjoy the warmth and comfort of the bed a little longer.

Also he really enjoys watching the other sleep. His features relaxed, mouth slightly agape and breathing regular. He looks young and innocent. Not at all like the man who had spent last night shamelessly moaning his name and damn if Cris doesn't have a kink for that. Who knew.

He slowly traces Leo's features with his index finger. First the line of his jaw, his cheekbone his lips and watches Leo's eyes flutter open drowsily. Without planning to he finds himself leaning forward capturing Leo's lips with his own. It's nothing like the night before. It's slow and sensual. Relaxed even as Cris nibbles on Leo's bottom lip and the latter open his mouth to grant him access. Cris licks into his mouth as if he has all the time in the world, tracing his teeth, enjoying the taste of the other man, because even now after Leo has slept for several hours he tastes of something sweet and fruity Cris can't quite place and it's rather addictive. He pulls away just as he feels his body start to react, pushing up on his elbows and surveying Leo sprawled out under him, eyes half lidded and cheeks flushed.

"How do you like your eggs?", he enquirers as he clambers out of bed and starts to get dressed, eyes never leaving Leo. The other however sits up slowly glancing at the clock on his bedside table before meeting Cris's again.

"Yeah, about that...I've got to go to work soon so you should probably leave."

Cris just stares at him for a couple of seconds because he really can't remember when or if anybody had ever actually kicked him out. Usually his various partners were more than delighted to have breakfast or do whatever he wanted but no matter how long Cris stayed silent, Leo didn't seem to waver. The younger man was still half under the blanket, pale chest a beautiful contrast to the dark sheets and Cris remembered when he had first seen him at the bar with his dark eyes and dimples that could make Cris swoon (not that he would, he wasn't a teenage girl). He remembered thinking he was beautiful then, too. Maybe not in the conventional sense, ears a tad too big, build a bit too small, but still beautiful.

"You can show yourself out, right?", Leo asks with a sheepish smile when Cris doesn't answer and Cris, still too shocked by this series of unforeseen events, simply nods stupidly and slowly retraces his steps from the night before. He hesitates when he reaches the door, recalling the breathy little whimpers Leo had made when he pressed him against it, trapping him in place. How he had writhed against it when Cris had gotten on his knees and how his face had contorted in ecstasy and his entire body had trembled when he took him in his mouth.

Cris shakes his head in irritation and stalks out of the apartment. He is a fucking brain surgeon and if Leo didn't realise who he was, then that sure as hell wasn't his problem. As it is Cris has just enough time to go home, shower and change and still make it to work on time.

He ends up talking to Sergio first about the new interns and then later about his crush on the chief of surgery, none of which is really news to him and he can't really focus, his mind still in the little run-down apartment. He mentally kicks himself every time he notices his mind wondering because he's pretty sure obsessing over someone he's only known for a couple of hours (granted they had slept together but still) was anything but healthy.

It's only natural that when he scans the room and his eyes land on the pale little figure in ice-blue scrubs he's pretty sure he's imagining it. And yet the pang of jealousy he feels when he watches one of the other boys wrap an arm around the little Argentine and sees the answering smile on Leo's face, is very real. He really wants to make his way through the crowded lobby and drag the other down the hall, away from all the prying eyes and see if he can get a repeat of last night. Unfortunately he is well aware that if Leo is one of the interns, which is looking more and more likely by the second, then he is now effectively his boss and him doing anything of the sort could not only end in countless accusations of him showing preferences to one of the interns but could also result in a lawsuit.

Cris was one of the best surgeons in the country and he prided himself in that, however even his impeccable reputation wouldn't withstand that. So he watches Leo trail the other intern who still hadn't let go of him much to Cris disdain and did nothing. It wasn't like he wouldn't have ample opportunity to spend time with Leo now that they were working together. Usually Cris would have been happy because a little eye candy at the workplace never hurt anyone, but Leo's different. When he watches Leo, he isn't sure he's going to be able to keep his hands to himself and he really doesn't want to. Not when his ass looks so damn good in scrubs and he can still remember what it had felt like underneath his fingers when he had spread Leo open, kneading the soft plump flesh beneath his fingers.

He was brought back to reality by Sergio snapping his fingers in front of his face and he flinched reflexively.

"Earth to Cris. Weren't you listening to anything I said. You're a brain surgeon. You should be able to multitask listening and eye-fucking an intern."

Cris stares at him with wide eyes before he fully registers the implications of what Sergio just said and his face grows hot in embarrassment because he couldn't have been that obvious, could he.

"I was not eye-fucking anybody", he says and it doesn't even sound convincing to his own ears. Sergio merely huffs in amusement.

"Anyways as I was saying, I asked Iker if he wanted coffee and he said and I quote: "black with sugar, no milk", like I'm some sort of waitress. Is it so hard to understand that I actually wanted him to get coffee with me. Doctors are supposed to be smart but he acts like a fucking moron when he talks about anything other than this hospital. Do you think he just didn't get it or it was his way of telling me to fuck off and leave him alone?" Sergio had managed to complete his entire monologue without drawing a single breath in between and now looked at Cris with pleading eyes. They made their way up to the surgical floor as Cris pondered exactly how to answer that, wordlessly agreeing to take the stairs instead of the elevator.

"I don't know what to tell you, Sergio. Iker can be an idiot sometimes", he pauses for a second before continuing: “most of the time actually. If you really want to be sure you're just going to have to spell it out for him."

Sergio makes a disgruntled noise in the back of his throat not at all liking the idea and Cris smiles sympathetically because Sergio's problems with Iker remind him of Leo and he's still not entirely sure what he's going to do about Leo and why the fuck do feelings even exist when all they do is get in the way and make him miserable.

He says goodbye and good luck to Sergio and takes the chart a nurse hands him, leafing through it briefly, trying to familiarise himself with the patient before he talks to her. She's 12 and has a grade 4 astrocytoma. Cristiano hates his job sometimes.

Cris loses himself in his work for several hours. He talks to the girl and her parents. Her name is Anna. She’s blond and cute, always sweet, constantly smiling. Cris wants to punch a wall. He doesn't though, he still needs that hand. He gets her an MRI instead, goes over the treatment plan (surgery then radiation) with her and her parents and schedules the operation for later that day.

Even though he knows his time would probably have been better spent in the OR, treating some faceless person whose name he had learned mere minutes before the actual procedure and any other doctor could have explained things to the parents or looked over the scans, he doesn't ask for someone to take over the rather menial tasks. He likes Anna. He really wants her to be one of the 4% that survives for longer than 5 years and so he has to be sure everything is done perfectly. It's not like he doesn't have confidence in his fellow surgeons but mistakes happen and he can never be sure unless he does it himself. A lot of deaths could be prevented if human error was somehow eliminated.

Cris doesn't see Leo again until lunch which he originally hadn’t even planned on having, too busy trying to catch up on the work he had neglected for Anna. However when Sergio showed up, mumbling how he was going to kill himself if he didn't start eating regularly, he followed the other to the cafeteria mostly just to shut him up.

It’s either one of the best or worst decisions of his life and problem is he really can’t decide which, because now he’s squished between Sergio and Karim and has a perfect view of the intern table. Turns out Leo likes lollipops and that particular fact has absolutely nothing to do with Cris not catching more than a couple of words of his friends conversation. But in all seriousness he’s pretty sure Leo has no idea what kind of effect he has on people. The way he’s sucking, lashes fluttering against cheekbones, tongue peeking out just slightly every once in a while would have been obscene and over the top on everyone else but on Leo it works because it isn’t intended to be sexual. 

And yet Cris can feel himself reacting and knows he should be paying attention to his friends, focusing on something else (anything else really) or he’s going to have an embarrassing problem soon but he physically can’t. He’s not the only one who’s noticed though and that pisses him off more than it probably should. He has no reason to be possessive of Leo. Nevertheless the intern, Neymar he recalls faintly, sitting across from Leo isn’t even attempting to hide his gawking, eyes fixated unwaveringly on Leo’s mouth, seemingly entranced. 

Cris is incredibly glad when they finally finish eating and he has an excuse to leave the room. Unfortunately his lack of interest in the lunch conversation hadn’t gone unnoticed by his friends and he was pretty sure they had spent most of their time laughing at him for it anyway. Not that he cared anymore at that point. He was just happy to be rid of the visual torture.


	3. Nothing happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the promised update. By the way med school is hell. Don't do it if you like sleep.

Cris hadn’t been nervous about a surgery in a very, very long time. Then again he usually didn’t get attached to patients or spend time with them in any real manner and he preferred it that way. It was easier that way. He wasn’t even really sure what had provoked him to get to know this one. Kids were always worse. Harder. More psychologically taxing. They still had so much to do and so much to be. 

So when Cris stepped into the OR he was agitated. It was never a good way to start. However it wasn’t his apprehension that did him in, (or rather did her in) in the end. The tumor had grown in the last 8 hours since the scan which wasn’t really unexpected. What was unexpected was the amount by which it had grown and also that it simply wouldn’t stop bleeding. He knew it was over long before her heart stopped beating, mostly the amount of meds it took to keep her vitals stable was the give-away. Children were usually more resilient, more capable of withstanding strain on their bodies, but exceptions prove the rule.

He leaves the OR feeling numb. Like a tiny piece of him died inside. You’d think he’d have gotten used to that feeling by now but he’s not, probably never will be. Originally he’d planned on staying later, looking over his post-ops but he doesn’t feel up to it anymore. So he ignores the worried looks of the other hospital staff and leaves through the back in order to run into the least amount of people possible.

It works pretty well if he does say so himself. At least until he sees the figure leaning against his car. Under any other circumstances he would have been thrilled to see Leo. Confused but thrilled anyway. Even now he could imagine himself pushing Leo up onto the hood of the car so the latter could wrap his legs around his waist, running his hands through his soft hair, playing with the strands, enjoying the feel of Leo’s body under his finger-tips, kissing him, tasting him. 

Dismally he recalls the look on Anna’s parents’ faces as he told them their only daughter hadn’t made it through the surgery, he could still hear the incessant, constant beep of the heart monitor as she had flat lined and the dead feeling in the pit of his stomach is back full force.

“Hey”, Leo’s voice pulls him back to the present. It’s soft and for once he sounds uncertain and tired. Not at all the way he had been when they spent the night together. To be fair he had worked just as many hours as Cris had and had just as much right to be tired, however right then and there Cris doesn’t care about anyone other than himself, sense of self-preservation taking over. So Cris just stares at him not saying anything. It’s becoming a habit of his apparently.

“I think we need to talk”, Leo continues when Cris doesn’t answer: “You know about what happened and what this is...” he trails off hesitantly, gaze drifting from Cris to the gravel at his feet and back.

Cris knows there are two options on how this can go and if he weren’t feeling so cold right now he would probably have put more thought into the consequences of what he was going to do next. But for the moment he just really doesn’t want to talk to anyone and wants no one talking to him.

“There’s nothing to talk about. Nothing happened”

Leo blinks confusedly for a second, eyes searching his for any sign of emotion to tell him what exactly that was supposed to mean and when he finds nothing he simply goes back to looking helpless and puzzled. Cris feels a twinge of regret but it is soon swallowed up by the cold feeling in his heart and he ploughs on anyway. 

“I am your boss. I am one of the best Neurosurgeons in this country and you’re just an intern. This could never have worked. Nothing happened. We are nothing. There is nothing to talk about because it never happened.”

By the time Cris finishes his mini-rant his voice has risen several decibel and Leo’s eyes are resolutely trained on Cris’ chest, refusing to look up. His shoulders are slumped and he looks hurt and small, smaller than Cris had thought humanely possible. He’s pretty sure he’s going to regret that but he needed to get it done. His job is the most important thing in his life and even if it hurts him he can’t let anything endanger his career. He needs to do this now because when he stops feeling numb and angry, he won’t be able to get his point across properly, too afraid of hurting the younger man.

“Look at me, Leo”, he spits out, grasping the smaller males jaw and forcing his face up, forcing him to make eye contact. He looks dazed and vulnerable Cris notes indifferently. “It never happened. Do you understand me?”

He could swear Leo’s about to start crying, sees the faint glint of tears in his eyes and he should care, he knows he should, but he doesn’t. Not yet at least. 

“Yeah, I get it”, his voice is quiet and raw, hurt lacing the words. Leo steps back averting his eyes and Cris lets him. Lets him because he has nothing else to say. Leo just stands there for a second, eyes glazed over unseeing, trying to comprehend what the hell just happened before he spins around and half walks, half runs out of the parking lot. Cris watches him go unmoving, unfeeling. He knows may have overdone it, been too harsh but for now he feels no remorse. At least his job is safe.


	4. I may have slept with Dr.Ronaldo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like this chapter all that much and I'm not even sure why. It just doesn't feel quite right so I'm kind of hesitant about posting it but I hope you like it anyway.

Leo doesn’t stop to think the entire way back to his flat which is unfortunate considering if he had, he might have realized he actually owns a car and has no need to be walking at all. It probably wouldn’t have changed anything given the fact that his cars is still in the parking lot and that’s pretty much the last place he wants to be at this precise moment.

In all honesty Leo knows he really shouldn’t be surprised. He hadn’t expected Cristiano, no Dr. Ronaldo to fall over himself to date him, he himself didn’t even really want to date him or at least he hadn’t thought he wanted to. Now he wasn’t so sure because he was definitely too torn up over this to still be able to claim he wasn’t interested even if only a little bit. 

Leo had been planning on telling Cris it could never happen again, no matter how much he had enjoyed it and that would have been it. They could have had a perfectly functioning working relationship. Leo isn’t sure how he anyone can really expect him to work with a guy who made him want to curl up in a ball and die of shame when he so much as thought about him. 

When Leo finally makes it home he is not only exhausted but for the first time he can remember his cosy little apartment doesn’t seem warm and welcoming but cold and empty and he really doesn’t want to be alone. Because if he is alone he’d have to think about what happened and he’d felt humiliated enough for one day. Unfortunately he doesn’t know anyone in this city other than the people at the hospital, so when he pulls out his phone and he really only has one number to dial.

To his credit Kun doesn’t ask many questions, he can probably tell Leo was distressed from the tone of his voice and Leo would be eternally grateful for that. Kun gives him his address and Leo’s off walking again. At this point he would have loved to have his car.

It takes him a grand total of 45 minutes to reach Kun’s house (where the hell does Kun even get the money for a house?) but it’s nice, homely. Leo likes it more than he’s willing to admit and since he’s tired and upset, he doesn’t compliment the other on it. He actually doesn’t say much of anything, just let’s Kun hug him close, kiss his hair before leading him up to a spare bedroom, bed made up and ready to sleep in. Leo thinks he’s never been more thankful for a single person’s existence in his entire life. Smiling for the first time that night he kisses Kun on the cheek as the other murmurs a soft goodnight.

Leo sleeps surprisingly well all things considered and makes Kun coffee when he wakes up. For all his big talk of not wanting to make friends Leo’s oddly enjoying having one and he supposes he owes Kun an explanation for last night. 

They’re quiet while they have breakfast, both still drowsy until Leo finally musters up the courage to start talking.

“You can’t judge me for anything I’m about to say, ok?” Kun simply nods eyes still trailed on the newspaper so Leo continues: “I may have slept with Dr.Ronaldo.”

Kun does look up at that but he doesn’t look angry or critical, simply curious. 

“Our attending Neurosurgeon?”

Leo nods.

“What are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t have to do anything. He made it very clear that it shouldn’t have happened. I just thought you should know.”

And that’s all there is to it. They go back to drinking their coffee and then Kun drives them both to the hospital for pre-rounds. He makes light conversation in the car and all Leo has to do is hum every once in a while to prove he’s still paying attention.

Once they get assigned to the different faculties he realises that Cristiano isn’t there. He wonders vaguely if it has anything to do with the day before but doesn’t ask. He’s pretty sure he doesn’t want to know the answer to that one. In the end he gets appointed to Cardio and he couldn’t be happier. At least until he gets stuck with post-ops and no OR time. It annoys him to no end given there’s a very nice heart transplant surgery he could assist in, but those honours went to Alexis. 

So he gets stuck checking pulses and blood pressures. What fun. He had been bored out of his mind wishing for anything of interest to happen. Sadly enough he regrets it almost immediately. He answers one of the countless pages he’d been getting that day, all of them up to that point had been fairly menial and he really wasn’t expecting anything else this time, however when he walks into the room there are already two nurses there, frantically checking vital signs. He recognizes the patient. He’d had a coronary bypass the day before and his blood pressure was dangerously low, heart failing. To top it all off he was maxed out on dopamine. 

He knows it’s a clot before he even sees the ultrasound but the size is what freaks him out. There’s no way it’s coming out on its own and by the time one of the Attendings reaches this room the patient will be dead. The only logical thing to do is to cut. To crack the patient’s chest and take out the clot, so the heart can go back to functioning properly. However he’s never actually done anything of the sort, has only seen it done a single time and he feels himself panicking. The man had been fine mere hours ago and now by all odds he was going to die. Because Leo was good, he was brilliant. He knew how to theoretically do this procedure, but there was a difference between seeing and technically knowing and practically doing.

He can feel his hands start to shake as soon as the nurses force the OR gown and gloves on him, desperately trying to remember what he had learned all that time ago. He feels sick. Fear pooling in his stomach and he can feel his chest constricting making it hard to breathe.

However as soon as he turns to the patient on the bed he simply shuts off. He’s not sure how he does it, but he just stops feeling and focuses on the task, forgets that he’s treating an actual person and not a cadaver like he has done so many times before. Remove stitches, crack chest apply suction, resect clot, massage heart until normal sinus rhythm resumes, close. He doesn’t realize what he’s done until he’s finished and then the panic comes rushing back because he didn’t just treat a dead body but an actual human whom he really could have killed. 

Then he starts laughing almost hysterically, tears coming to his eyes because he had just removed a cardiac tamponade bedside and hadn’t really known what he’d been doing. With the adrenaline still running through his veins and his heart beating at a frantic pace, Leo couldn’t remember ever feeling this alive. He had forgotten how much he loved surgery. For just a couple of hours he forgets everything but the thrill of it.


	5. I got you coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote this last night because I was upset for obvious reasons and I wanted to stay up and wait for new developments. I can't believe what happened. It's sick and digusting. Why is it always Paris though? Anyway I hope you enjoy this and it takes your mind off of current events a little.

Cris wakes up the next morning feeling refreshed and content in his the comfort of his own warm bed. Then he remembers the day before, remembers Anna, remembers Leo and he can feel his stomach drop. For the first time in a long time he’s glad he has the day off. He doesn’t want to face the hospital or see Leo’s face. He can still picture him with big teary eyes and a shocked expression, that quickly morphed into pained as Cris continued to tear into him.

He knows he did the right thing. His career always comes first without exception. Up to this point his sex life had been pretty non-existent anyway. Sure there had been the string of random one night stands but he’d never been attached to any of them, would probably not have spent a single second regretting picking his job over them. With anyone else he wouldn’t have wasted any time obsessing over the fact that he had probably irreparably damaged that particular relationship. He would have accepted it as one of the necessary consequences of his being a surgeon, something that just had to be done.

As things stand he just can’t shake the look of hurt on Leo’s face from his memory, is pretty sure it will haunt him the rest of his life. It takes him just under 4 hours of being curled up in bed with his head buried in his pillow, trying to forget anything and everything that had happened the day before, for him to realise that he’s going to have to do something about it or it would never stop bothering him. In retrospect that was the easy part: the realisation. 

He spends the entire day trying to come up with plausible ideas of how to fix this and gets absolutely no where. The obvious solution is to apologize. However he can’t take back what he said because it had been the truth. It wasn’t that he didn’t care for Leo. He had realised that too in the 4 hours confined to his bed. The problem was that with their jobs, there was no way they could ever be anything other than work colleagues. It would not only damage his reputation but Leo’s as well. People would start to question his credibility, if the only reason he had gotten accepted to this program was that he was screwing an attending and not that he was absolutely brilliant (which he was, Cris had seen his file). 

So Cris should leave things as they are. Not only for his own sake but for Leo’s as well, but he just can’t. He could deal with not dating Leo, only seeing Leo at work (with all his clothes on) and not being able to touch him. What he can’t deal with is Leo hating him, thinking he was a terrible human being, resenting him for what he did. He had to do something to fix things, he just doesn’t have a clue what.

In the end the only real realization he comes to, is that days off are not good for him. They involve far too much introspection, far too much consideration of his own feeling that ultimately lead to nothing and that in turn give him a headache. Cris crawls into bed that night with no concrete plan of action and decides to just wing it the next day.

It’s still dark out when he gets up the next morning, downs his first coffee of the day in two gulps and makes his way to work extra early so he can ambush Leo during pre-rounds. In the lobby he picks up his second coffee and another one for Leo as some sort of peace offering although he’s been pretty sure it’s going to take far more than that to appease the younger man. 

He finds Leo leaning over the counter of the nurses’ station trying desperately to reach a patient file on the other side. He’s on tippy toes and his scrub shirt is riding up, exposing a line of his lower back above his waistband. Cristiano wants to trace it with his tongue. He shakes his head in exasperation. Just two day ago he had told Leo that their one-night-stand had never happened and now he is fighting the urge to sexually harass him at his place of work. To be fair the way Leo is wiggling his ass trying grasp the folder is really distracting. Cris really has to get a grip or this conversation is going to turn into a real mess. 

“Leo”, he says, his tone is steady and collected, he’s rather proud of himself. At the sound of his voice Leo flinches back so violently, he nearly falls over and Cris reaches out a hand to steady him out of reflex before thinking better of it. If this is how Leo’s going to react to his mere presence, he really doesn’t want to know what he would do if he decided to touch him.

Leo turns to face him but doesn't actually looking at him, eyes downcast, back pressed against the counter. He reminds Cris of a caged animal, ready to flee at any moment. Cris doesn’t like it. He wants Leo to be comfortable even amicable around him but he knows this is his fault. He feels his chest tighten slightly. If he was being honest with himself he supposes that he should have expected something of the sort and yet he still isn’t sure how to handle it.

Thinking of what to say next he just stares at Leo for a couple of seconds, taking in his tense posture and the circles under his eyes. Maybe winging it hadn’t been the best idea, he has no clue of what to do next.

“I got you coffee”, he murmurs, holding out the cup slowly, trying not to spook Leo and when the other doesn’t reach out to take it (or react in any way really) he puts it down on the counter.

He desperately wants Leo to look at him because his face is stoic and collected and Cris can’t read anything in it whatsoever. But at least Leo hasn’t walked away from him yet although Cris has the sneaking suspicion that the only reason he’s still there is because technically Cris is his superior and it would have been considered incredibly rude to do so.

In the end “You look tired”, is all he can think to say, not that he doesn’t have anything to say. It’s just that half those things would have been wholly inappropriate and for the other half he would very much have liked to actually be able to see Leo’s reaction. 

There’s a long pause as Cris waits patiently for Leo to respond because he has to respond at some point, doesn’t he. He isn’t planning on ignoring him for the rest of his life. He wouldn’t do that, right? When Leo finally turns away from him, he has pretty much given up all hope of getting an answer and so he almost misses the mumbled: “I was on-call last night and I really need to get back to work.”

Cris dumbly watches the younger man round the nurses’ station to grab the file as he processes that he had just effectively been dismissed. It has never happened to him before. Long after Leo’s gone he remains frozen staring at the second cup of coffee still perched precariously on the countertop. That wasn’t at all how he had wanted that to go.


	6. Sergio likes his job

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I passed my exam yesterday (at least the written part), the oral one is on wednesday so I'll probably update again after that. Don't worry I haven't forgotten about this fic ;)  
> Enjoy!

Sergio likes his job. Well he usually likes his job. He enjoys it a lot less when he has to watch Iker with his arm wrapped around Xavi’s shoulders, smiling without a care in the world. Really there are people dying on that very floor, it’s rather inconsiderate of them. That’s definitely the only reason it’s upsetting him this much. Right. 

To be fair he knows they’re close and always had been, but last time he checked they weren’t dating and that amount of touching could not be normal for an entirely platonic relationship, could it? 

It makes Sergio mad every single time he sees the two of them together. Lucky for him Ortho is the perfect faculty if you needed some kind of stress relief. He doesn’t throw things at wall, scream or rage when he gets upset. No, he breaks bones and gets paid to do it, too. Really his job is pretty awesome, he just can’t truly appreciate it at the moment.

To distract himself he goes to find Cris who claims he’s too busy with work to talk but since all he’s doing is staring at the small dark-haired intern anyway, he ignores his protest and sits down in the desk-chair next to him. He spins around aimlessly for a minute or two watching Cris watch Leo’s every move while simultaneously trying (and failing miserably) to appear completely uninterested. 

“Are Iker and Xavi dating?” he finally asks when he can’t take the silence anymore. When Cris doesn’t react in any way Sergio shoves him hard enough that he almost falls out of chair.  
Cris makes a rather undignified squealing noise and fixes his hair because the world will end before Cristiano fucking Ronaldo doesn’t look like supermodel. Sergio scoffs and has half a mind to laugh at him for it but he doesn’t, otherwise he’d never get an answer to his question.

“Seriously, Sergio, you ask me this every week. No, they’re not dating. They’ve known each other since they were kids. They went to school, did they’re residency together. They’re close. You need to stop getting your panties in a twist about this. Just man up and go spend some time with him for fucks sake.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You just bat your eyes at anything that moves and it comes running no questions asked. How am I supposed to ask someone out who hasn’t talked to me about anything not work-related in two years? Hey Iker, I know you’re the epiphany of professionalism, but I kind of like you so could you forget about your morals for a second and fuck me on this desk, that’d be great.” 

Cristiano flashes him an amused smirk at his little outburst and Sergio wants to punch him in the face because this really isn’t funny and Cris is a terrible friend but he somehow manages not to insult one of the few people in this hospital he can talk to about something like this. Barely. 

“Football tickets.” Cris says after a couple of minutes where Sergio stares at his lap and Cris at his paper work. The words take a while to register with Sergio and he can’t really make sense of them. What the hell is supposed to do with football tickets. He doesn’t even really like football. Hasn’t watched more 10 minutes at a time before changing the channel.

“Iker likes football. The European kind though, not the American bullshit. Remember that it’s important. He supports NYCFC. Buy two tickets for Saturday and ask him to go.”

Sergio stares at him like he’s grown a second head. In part because it’s a good idea and Cris usually doesn’t have good ideas, at least not when it comes to romance or even halfway decent date ideas for that matter. His idea of the ideal date is a hook-up at a bar and never calling again for god’s sake, so this is rather unexpected. What’s even more unexpected though is the fact that apparently Cris had gotten Iker to talk about his interests at some point.

Sergio’s oddly jealous and yet at the same time he wants to get on his knees and thank him because he doubts Iker would turn down cards to his favourite team. He might actually get to spend some time with him after all and there really no way Iker could misunderstand his intentions this time. 

Sergio jumps to his feet and plants a big, sloppy kiss straight on Cris’ cheek, laughing at the appalled look on the latter’s face as he attempts to wipe the saliva off his face and meets shocked chocolate-brown eyes halfway across the hall. Leo ducks his head immediately, blushing at being caught staring and Sergio’s pretty sure he doesn’t want to know what’s going on between those two, which is precisely why he should probably be asking before Cris manages to screw himself over by for example sleeping with one of the interns. 

He has half a mind to go back and make Cris talk but then he remembers that he has tickets to buy and Cris will just have to manage on his own for a day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like Sergio. He seems like a fun person.


	7. I'd really  rather not

Cris is staring at Leo. It’s becoming his favourite pass time apparently. After a couple of days of Leo not only not speaking to him but also not so much as sparing him a single glance, Cris is no longer ashamed of admitting that it is really starting to get to him. He is at fault here and he is very well aware of that. He also knows he should be alright with what is going on between them because he had chosen it and yet all he had done over the past few days is stare and regret, even though he knows he shouldn’t. At some point Leo’s going to notice and that’s just going to be awkward. 

At least he had been able to give Sergio some semi-decent advice (which was quite the achievement for him really) so at any rate there was one happy person in this hospital. Cristiano sighs. He really needs to talk to Leo before this entire thing started to get in the way of his work. However Leo wasn’t making this any easier for him, maybe out of spite, probably because he just really doesn’t want to look at him and Cris gets it. He really does. 

He wouldn’t want to talk to the guy who dumped him (sort of) in the parking lot on his first day of work for no apparent reason. So Cristiano gets it and that makes it worse. It makes him feel guilty and desperate because this is all on him and he would be doing the exact same thing if he were in Leo’s shoes (just with a tad more passive-aggressive behaviour to top it all off).

To be honest Cris isn’t even sure how Leo has managed to avoid being on his service the past week even after he had requested him several times. Usually the resident just handed over the intern when an Attending deemed it necessary to ask for someone. 

If things continued this way Cris was going to have to start threatening Iniesta and he wasn’t used to needing to threaten people. He was used to getting his way, no questions asked and he didn’t exactly appreciate it when things didn’t go as he planned. Of course threatening Iniesta would most likely piss off Xavi and he really didn’t need a pissed off Xavi on his case, especially when Xavi had a way of knowing about absolutely everything that happened in and around this hospital. He really didn’t want to find out if Xavi knew about him and Leo.

Reluctantly Cris goes back to reading the patient file in front of him, trying to put Leo out of his head for a while but he can still feel the thoughts lurking just under the surface, ready to come flooding back the moment he stops concentrating quite so hard, letting his mind wander just a bit. His surgical case is an infant this time. If there was a god he was doing his damndest to screw Cris over this week.

When he finishes going over the file it’s time for rounds. He ignores the interns as they follow him through the rooms, paying little attention as a different person presents the patient’s condition and treatment plan in each one, only interjecting if they make particularly stupid mistakes or forget important details. When they reach the infants room, Leo’s little friend, Kun if he recalls correctly is the one to present. The toddler is curled up on her fathers lap trying to suck the strings of his hoodie into her mouth while the mother watches the two of them affectionately. Cristiano can’t help but smile at the cute kid and her parents. They make an adorable family.

“Patient’s name is Gala Bartra. She presented with seizures in her right leg which haven’t responded to medication or less invasive procedure. MRI scans show progressive brain death in her left hemisphere. Left untreated the disease will probably kill her. Surgery is scheduled for later today. We’ll remove the diseased portion of her brain and seal it off, so that eventually the spinal fluid can fill the cavity. If all goes well she should be able to leave here and live a mostly normal life.”

“Under normal circumstances interns usually don’t scrub in on advanced procedures, but this might just be a once in a lifetime operation so I’m going to make an exception and let one of you assist.”

He pauses deliberately letting his eyes trail over all the excited faces to the only person who isn’t waiting with baited breath for him to make his decision. 

“Leo if you’re free this afternoon I’d be thrilled to have you join me in OR 3.”

And finally after over a week Leo looks up and meets his eyes and that alone is enough to send a thrill through Cris, because they’re just as dark brown and deep as he remembers them. The only difference is that this time they’re hard, his mouth set in a firm line like he wants to tell Cris he knows exactly what he’s trying to do. Truthfully bribing him with surgery is pretty low but at this point he’s desperate to get anything other than a blank, emotionless stare out of Leo.

“I’m on cardio today so I’m afraid I won’t be able to. Sorry.”

To say Cris is surprised would have been the understatement of the century. Was Leo really going to turn down ground-breaking work because he couldn’t bear to spend more than 5 minutes in the same room with Cris? Cris has half a mind to ask, to simply corner him somewhere and get everything he’s been meaning to say over the past few days off his chest, to leave Leo no choice but to listen to him.

Unfortunately Leo’s already striding out of the room while the other interns clamour around him for the chance of participating in the hemispherectomy, leaving him unable to follow.


	8. Fuck it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry I haven't updated this in so long. I'm just feeling really uninspired right now. Anyway I know it's short, but I actually quite like this chapter so enjoy :)

In the end he picks Kun. Not because he particularly likes him but because he figures that getting on Leo’s best friend’s good side might be helpful at some point. Half an hour in he has to admit that Kun is good, not him good but still good. As for Cris, he feels happy, really happy. He gets in the OR and he can do no wrong, every one of his moves is inch perfect. 

He can tell Kun’s impressed by the way he just comes right out and says so and it’s oddly endearing but he’d still prefer Leo there, because then if Leo saw him doing this, being perfect at this, making a difference then maybe he would understand why Cris can’t give this up, why he had had no other choice but to push him away and Cris desperately wants Leo to get it. 

Regrettably Leo isn’t there and so Cris just enjoys the moment, the thrill of saving a life, a baby’s life and tries not to think about the other thing. When he leaves the OR he can still feel the adrenalin rushing through his veins and he wonders vaguely if this is what druggies feel like when they get a hit. The feeling stays around for a long time, even after he tells the parents their kid will be fine (their happy, crying faces might add to it a little actually), it stays while he takes his shower and gets changed and it’s still there when he gets into the elevator on his way home.

He’s not sure how he even ended up in the same lift as Leo, only the two of them in the small space and he’s pretty sure Leo would have taken the stairs if he had been able to see this coming. But he hadn’t known and so Cris watches Leo watch the elevator doors close and wants to laugh at how incredibly uncomfortable he looks.

It only takes him a couple of seconds of internal debate to make a decision because he just saved a toddler’s life by removing half her goddamn brain all the while thinking of Leo and he deserves this, deserves some kind of reward and at the moment he can only think of one thing he really wants.

The soft little gasp Leo lets out when he pins him against the wall, is music to his ears and then he’s slanting his mouth over the other’s, feeling the soft, firm lips under his and the loose strands of hair between his fingers. Leo’s taste is intoxicating to him, making his head spin and he experimentally nibbles on his lower lip, sliding one of his hands under Leo’s shirt and trailing it up his spine. The younger man moans into his mouth and his hands that had previously been placed loosely on Cristiano’s chest, caught between pushing him away and pulling him closer, ball into fists around the fabric of Cris’ button up as he melts against Cris’ body. 

Cris can feel himself hardening as he licks into Leo’s mouth, tracing his teeth and tongue and he’s pretty sure Leo isn’t any less affected than him. He gets his proof when he lets his hand slide back down Leo’s back to grip his ass firmly and Leo breaks the kiss, panting for air. Cris kneads the firm globe between his fingers and watches as Leo buries his head in his neck and mewls against his skin wantonly. His face is flushed, eyes half-lidded and he looks so overwhelmed and needy and Cris thinks he could watch him like this forever. 

The elevator chooses that exact moment to reach the ground floor and they jump apart as if they’ve been burned, both still half hard, trying to catch their breath. Leo stares at Cris with huge vulnerable eyes, confused and indecisive and all Cris wants to do is wrap him up in a comfy blanket and tell him everything is going to be alright. Unfortunately there are people in the lobby, people getting into the elevator and so he says nothing as he watches Leo turn and leave slowly as if in a daze. The lift is already moving again before he realises that he was supposed to get off as well.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think :)


End file.
